It may or may not have crossed your mind as to how hungry a person has to get before they actually become a cannibal and eat a family member. Rest easy. Its apparently hunger on an unsurvivable scale. My brother Andrew and I bushwhacked our way all over Heberly Run in a remote area of PA State Game Lands 13 in Luzerne County yesterday. We became so hungry that we had to talk each other out of staying on the mountain to die rather than exert additional effort to reach food. Other than a few questionable looks, I didn't notice any signs that he was picturing me in a large pot over a fire or anything.
Yes, this could have been avoided by preparing correctly and taking food in our packs. Hell, I bought my camera pack because it has a compartment for food built in. But what fun would that be? Its much better to creep .5mph down a logging road in the dark while your stomach growls loudly. Why so slow? The road being crept on is hell bent on tearing the exhaust system off your car. A result that certainly dooms all occupants to either cannibalism or death. Both of which would likely ruin next Saturday night's plans.
We tried to block out these fears by talking about steaks, pork chops and our all time favorite meals. Very effective. Favorite meals ran out around the time we got back into GPS range and saw signs of humanity. Being resourceful men, once we had a calculatable distance and exact time to the nearest food source - another half hour away - we immediately distracted ourselves by staring at the clock the entire way. Did you know its possible to stuff two hours of misery into twenty minutes of travel time? (Play a couple games of magnetic travel bingo sometime while driving across Iowa and see for yourself.)
When the woman at Wendy's repeated my order for confirmation: "#2, no cheese, large sized with a Coke?" I thought it was some strange form of foreplay that rural people far from home do. After a brief discussion with my brother, I nodded in the affirmative, pulled my pants back up and handed her my money. It was one of the rare times I didn't feel repulsed while eating garbage food and to be honest, if enough ketchup was handy, I might have devoured the front door to the building on my way inside.
Another successful trip.